Hypocrites and Halloween Cookies.

Philippians 1:18.

Look it up.

Read it.

Think about it.

We're all hypocritical at times.

Why is it so hard to just love?

To just accept things as they are?

To stop judging and just love like Jesus?

Another thing you should read:

Blue Like Jazz.  

Donald Miller.

"Leading" Life Group tonight put too many thoughts into my head to jot down here, so those are tiny pieces that I managed to pull out of the chaotic resolve going on in my head.

End notes:

"I understand the plight of the children of Israel, to be honest.  Moses goes off to talk to God, he doesn't come back for a while, and so the people demand a god they can see and touch...so they build a golden cow."

"What are you doing?" Moses asks.

"Worshipping a golden cow."

"Why? Why would you reject the one true God?"

"Because I don't get to see him or talk to Him.  I am not even certain that He exists."

"Are you on crack?!?  Weren't you there when God parted the Red Sea? When He fed us from the ground?" screams Moses.

"Calm down Mosey. Listen man, you always go up and talk to God and come back with a sunburn, and you have God hover around your tent in a cloud, and He turns your staff into a snake, and we get nothing. Nothing!"  "We need a god to worship.  We need a god to touch and feel...so I made a cow.  You can also wear it as a necklace."

Moses replied, "Before I put you to death and send you home to the one true God, I want you to understand something.  God has never been, and never will be, invented.  God led us out of Egypt because you people cried out to Him.  He was answering your prayers because He is a God of compassion."  "Don't complain about the way God answers your prayers.  You are still living on an earth that is run by the devil...  Your problem is not that God is not fulfilling, your problem is that you are spoiled."

-Pages 91 & 92 of "Blue Like Jazz".

Cold Fronts and Changing Colors.

Quirkiness and Questioning.

I suck at blogging, which is sad because writing things out really helps me regain focus.  Maybe I'll make it my (nowhere close to) New Year's Resolution.  

I think God's been telling me to calm down and be patient for a while now, but I've been the little kid in the back seat asking when we're going to get to our destination.  Today He slapped me in the face.  It kind of started out as me just being confused.  I started an application to study abroad in Australia next fall, really just dreaming and weighing my options.  As I was sitting in the library staring at the essay questions I had no motivation to finish the application.  I made a list of reasons to go and reasons to stay.  Guess what?  It was a tie.  So of course, I told God I needed a deal breaker.  So what do I get in return?  A reason.  However, I have no idea if it fits in the "Reasons to Stay" or "Reasons to Go" category.  Thanks God.  I got it.  Patience.  I understand.  That was after lunch, it is now 5 o'clock and things seem a tad bit clearer.  Studying abroad is now on hold.  I feel like God picked up my lists, crumbled them up, and threw them away.  Making lists of "reasons" is so much easier than just waiting on God to work things out.  I used to be the frustrated Christian when I had no patience.  The one who just got edgy when things didn't happen.  Now Im the nagging daughter.  The one who constantly whines and asks questions; I drive myself crazy.  I feel like Im running at my top speed and going nowhere, and I just end up tired and on empty.  Someday I'll stop going and circles though....until then:  "Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.  Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them.  The point is to live everything.  Live the questions." -Rainer Maria Rilke